ADD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant and Bipolar Disorders The Amazing 71 - Miracle Questionnaire By Jane Fendelman, MC ___ 1. Does your child sleep in your bed? ___ 2. Does your child sit between you and your partner? ___ 3. Do you do their homework with them? ___ 4. Do you beg your child to eat? ___ 5. Do you nag your child to sit up straight? ___ 6. Do you still wash their hair, cut their food, tie their shoes, clean up after them, do their laundry, or do other things for them that they could do themselves? ___ 7. Do you nag them to brush their teeth, or sometimes do it for them? ___ 8. Do you and your mate spend more than 10% of your time having negative conversations about your child? ___ 9. Is your sex life poor? ___ 10. Do you repeat yourself to your child? ___ 11. Do you get angry when you feel your child is not doing or being what you think they should? ___ 12. Does your child think it's okay to wake you up? ___ 13. Is your happiness in your child's hands? ___ 14. Do 10% or more of your conversations (with your child or about your child) consist of negative comments about their schoolwork or behavior? ___ 15. Does your child's homework seem more important to you than it does to him/her? ___ 16. Does your child have AIMS testing at school? ___ 17. Does/Did your child have homework before 6th grade? ___ 18. Do you feel your child will be "good enough" if he/she gets A's and B's? ___ 19. Do you constantly remind your child to take their homework, books, tennis shoes, etc. to school? ___ 20. Do you think your child will forget if you don't remind him/her? ___ 21. Do you take them if he/she forgets? ___ 22. Is it possible you and your mate focus on the "problem child" to avoid intimacy? ___ 23. Are you uncomfortable or embarrassed to allow your child to be exactly who they are? ___ 24. Do you believe your child will fail if you don't push him/her? ___ 25. Do you feel that you have the right to tell your child how to be/who to be? ___ 26. Is your child a failure? ___ 27. Do you feel your child's successes or failures are a reflection on who you are and your worth? ___ 28. Does your life (or do your thoughts) revolve around your child? ___ 29. If you're a mom, do you put yourself last… after your kids and mate? ___ 30. Do you take drugs like caffeine, sugar, nicotine, or high saturated fats? ___ 31. Do you hide your true feelings from your family and friends? ___ 32. Do you criticize more than you praise? ___ 33. Do you praise your children only for doing what you want, not for being who they are naturally? ___ 34. Can your child get a knee jerk reaction immediately by doing something you deem "wrong"? ___ 35. Do you hit and yell at your child? ___ 36. Do you hit and yell at your friends? ___ 37. Does your child control you with their bad behavior? ___ 38. Do you get anxiety if you refrain from telling your child what to do? ___ 39. Are you addicted to worrying about your child? ___ 40. Does your child have the power to control your mood? ___ 41. Do you steer your child away from their dreams? ___ 42. Do you prevent your child from learning from his/her mistakes by saving him/her from making mistakes? ___ 43. Will you experience massive guilt and anxiety if you do not "save" your child from his/her mistakes? ___ 44. Are you mean to yourself and do you remain close with friends who speak to you or treat you unkindly? ___ 45. Are you a "people-pleaser" with friends and family? ___ 46. Would you stay in a relationship where the other person does not keep their word? ___ 47. Do you think you have the right to "fix" loved ones? ___ 48. Are you using your child to avoid focusing on your own shortcomings and personal disappointments? ___ 49. Is your life "on hold" until you get your child's life straightened out? ___ 50. Should you determine your child's life purpose? ___ 51. Do you drug your child to behave and do well in school? Ideally, you will answer "No" to questions 1-51 ___ 52. Does your child feel loved by his/her teacher(s) and supported by his/her school? ___ 53. My child's school will not have homework until 6th grade. ___ 54. My teenagers have only a half-hour of homework, no more than 3 times per week. ___ 55. Are you learning from your child? ___ 56. Are you living your dream? ___ 57. Do you support your child's dreams and ideas? ___ 58. Are you doing that which makes your soul sing? ___ 59. Do you love your job and your body ? ___ 60. Do your friendships and beloved relationships feed your soul and enhance your life? ___ 61. If you are a man, do you put your woman's feeling's before your own? ___ 62. Do you exercise 2-3 times a week for at least 20 minutes? ___ 63. Can you quiet your mind and sleep? ___ 64. Do you have self-mastery? ___ 65. Do you know your life purpose? ___ 66. Are you satisfied with what you've done with your life? ___ 67. Is your own childhood trauma resolved, to a point of peace? ___ 68. Do you speak kindly, and with love, to yourself? ___ 69. Do you share your true feelings with your friends and family? ___ 70. Do you allow your child to learn, by letting them make their own mistakes? ___ 71. Can you love your child for exactly who he/she is? Ideally, you will answer "Yes" to questions 52-71 Notes: Is your child above average in intelligence? (Most children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD are above-average intelligence.) Does your child have perfect focus and pay attention when playing computer games? (This is an indication that your child does not have ADD/ADHD.) Does your child get better grades in subjects he/she is interested in? (If yes, your child is entirely normal. We all perform better when we are interested and inspired.)