1. Does your child sleep in your bed?
2. Does your child sit between you and your partner?
3. Do you do their homework with them?
4. Do you beg your child to eat?
5. Do you nag your child to sit up straight?
6. Do you still wash their hair, cut their food, tie their shoes, clean up after them, do their laundry, or do other things for them that they could do themselves?
7. Do you nag them to brush their teeth, or sometimes do it for them?
8. Do you and your mate spend more than 10% of your time having negative conversations about your child?
9. Is your sex life poor?
10. Do you repeat yourself to your child (nag)?
11. Do you get angry when you feel your child is not doing or being what you think they should?
12. Does your child think it's okay to wake you up?
13. Is your happiness in your child's hands?
14. Do 10% or more of your conversations (with your child or about your child) consist of negative comments about their schoolwork or behavior?
15. Does your child's homework seem more important to you than it does to him/her?
16. Does your child have AIMS testing at school?
17. Does/Did your child have homework before 6th grade?
18. Do you feel your child's grades will be "good enough" if he/she gets A's and B's?
19. Do you constantly remind your child to take their homework, books, tennis shoes, etc. to school?
20. Do you think your child will forget if you don't remind him/her?
21. Do you take them if he/she forgets?
22. Is it possible you and your mate focus on the "problem child" to avoid intimacy?
23. Are you uncomfortable or embarrassed to allow your child to be exactly who they are?
24. Do you believe your child will fail if you don't push him/her?
25. Do you feel that you have the right to tell your child how to be/who to be?
26. Is your child a failure?
27. Do you feel your child's successes or failures are a reflection on who you are and your worth?
28. Does your life (or do your thoughts) revolve around your child?
29. If you're a mom, do you put yourself last… after your kids and mate?
30. Do you take drugs like caffeine, sugar, nicotine, or high saturated fats?
31. Do you hide your true feelings from your family and friends?
32. Do you criticize more than you praise?
33. Do you praise your children only for doing what you want, not for being who they are naturally?
34. Can your child get a knee jerk reaction immediately by doing something you judge as "wrong"?
35. Do you hit and yell at your child?
36. Do you hit and yell at your friends?
37. Does your child control you with their bad behavior?
38. Do you get anxiety if you refrain from telling your child what to do?
39. Are you addicted to worrying about your child?
40. Does your child have the power to control your mood?
41. Do you steer your child away from their dreams?
42. Do you prevent your child from learning from his/her mistakes by saving him/her from making mistakes?
43. Will you experience massive guilt and anxiety if you do not "save" your child from his/her mistakes?
44. Are you mean to yourself and do you remain close with a friend who speaks to you and treats you unkindly?
45. Are you a "people-pleaser" with friends and family?
46. Would you stay in a relationship where the other person does not keep their word?
47. Do you think you have the right to "fix" loved ones?
48. Are you using your child to avoid focusing on your own shortcomings and personal disappointments?
49. Is your life "on hold" until you get your child's life straightened out?
Ideally, you will answer "No" to questions 1-49
1. Your child's school will not have homework until 6th grade.
2. Your teenagers have only a half-hour of homework, no more than 3 times per week.
3. Does your child feel loved by his/her teacher(s) and supported by his/her school?
4. Does your child feel "good enough" no matter what their grades?
5. Are you learning from your child?
6. Are you living your dream?
7. Your home is neat and organized.
8. Do you support your child's dreams and ideas?
9. Are you doing that which makes your soul sing?
10. Do you have a job you love?
11. Do your friendships and beloved relationships feed your soul and enhance your life?
12. Do you exercise 2-3 times a week for at least 20 minutes?
13. Are you satisfied with what you've done with your life?
14. Is your own childhood trauma resolved, to a point of peace?
15. Do you speak kindly, and with love, to yourself?
16. Do you share your true feelings with your friends and family?
17. Do you allow your child to learn, by letting them make their own mistakes?
18. Can you love your child for exactly who he/she is?
Ideally, you will answer "Yes" to questions 1-18
Note:
Is your child above average in intelligence?
(Most children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD are above-average intelligence.)
Does your child have perfect focus and pay attention when playing computer games?
(This is an indication that your child DOES NOT have ADD/ADHD.)
Does your child get better grades in subjects he/she is interested in?
(If yes, your child is entirely normal. We all perform better when we are interested.)